Going Against the Grain

As parents we always try to do what is best for our children. We give them healthy foods, constantly watch over their safety and teach them what they need to know at appropriate times. What do you do with a child whose birthday falls after that dreaded "September 1st" mark which deems them to wait another year before starting Kindergarten? Do you just go with the flow and wait another year? Experts tell us the first three years of a child's life are the most important. This is when they learn to walk, talk and socialize both verbally and through facial expressions. So if you are an assertive parent perhaps you taught your two year old her colors and then at three you taught her shapes and how to count to ten. When your child is four you teach her everything a typical preschool would teach; letters, the sounds they make, counting to 20, etc.

Getting back to the "after September 1st" birthday.... Now that you have prepared your four year old for Kindergarten, what exactly do you teach your child who is now turning five, but will have to wait another year to start Kindergarten? Do you continue on and teach them the basics for reading, counting to 100, and so on? Or do you give them the year off and just let them play and "be a kid" until they start Kindergarten the next year?

I personally believe that giving them the year off is a total waste of the super-powered learning skills that young kids have. Ask any expert and they will tell you the best age to learn a foreign language is age six and under. It's not that older children can't learn a foreign language, but it requires a bit more work. Obviously the average American isn't trying to teach their five year old a foreign language, but I feel it's important to continue teaching children in fun and engaging ways throughout the year (yes even during the summer). One of my favorite books on this subject is "Learning All the Time" by John Holt. I think this should be required reading for all parents and caregivers. Children have a true LOVE of learning as youngsters, but too often they lose this by the time they reach 8-9 years of age due to boredom and lack of being engaged (another topic for another day). If a child is ready to start Kindergarten at the age of four, they should be allowed to do Kindergarten level work, regardless if they are at home or at school. I know what many of you are thinking... What about social skills? Just because a four year old is academically ready to start Kindergarten doesn't mean she is emotionally and socially ready. Well, I agree with you, but what if the child was tested by two separate teachers and then allowed to participate for a day of Kindergarten before making the decision. Either the child has what it takes or she doesn't. (I'm using she throughout this simply because it's easier than saying "he or she".)

Now, to get to the real issue. Our three year old will be turning four this November. She already knows her colors in English (and many of them in Spanish as well). She can count to 15 in English (to 10 in Spanish), and she knows the alphabet and basic shapes. I have done very little formal education with her, yet she watches educational cartoons and participates when we play hide-and-seek in which we always count in Spanish (you should try it, it's fun!). The next logical thing for her to learn would be the sounds each letter makes and to count to 20. I have all of next year to teach her this (remember she will be turning four in Nov.), however once she's learned all of this the next stage is beginning to read. As a homeschooling parent I feel that the September 1st birth date deadline is simply a "suggestion" and not a firm line for every single child. I'm not saying that our child is exceptional, but what I am saying is that I refuse to just sit back and wait for our child to be old enough to start Kindergarten. I think education should always be based on ability, not on what everyone else is doing. If your child is ready to learn then by all means show them the way and make it fun. Education should never stop, not for our children and not for adults either.

This is just one of the many ways we play games and have FUN while learning.

Going With My Instincts and Against the Crowd

I base much of my parenting on instinct and what just "feels right". For me it really feels wrong to drop off one of my children with strangers. Yes, I know that everyone starts off being a stranger until you get to know them, but it's not just the teacher that is a stranger. It's the class full of children that are strangers as well. As a parent, why should I want my child to hang out with a group of children their same age for 7-8 hours a day, 180 days out of the year? Is it not better to allow shorter periods of socialization with a widely diverse group of people? I think so and research proves it is so.

The paragraphs below are from "Homeschooling Step-By-Step" by Lauramaery Gold & Joan M. Zielinski. In this part they are discussing the transitions involved when children start off in public school and then are home schooled.

"First, you and your children have become strangers while they were in public school. They were gone all day and were under the extended control of homework-assigning teachers all night. If your children were in school for a prolonged time, you may not even like one another all that much. Don't worry. This will pass. As you and your children learn again what it means to be a family unit--a group of people who actually live and eat and play and work and learn together --you'll soon find yourself enjoying their company, discovering their personalities, and learning to like them all over again.
Second, your children may not trust or like you. They've been 'sent away' to strangers where they were taught habits and beliefs and mannerisms that just don't sit well with mom and dad. It takes time and trust for them to unlearn bad habits, to learn to interact with adults and to appreciate your commitment to teaching them. Give it a chance. Those strong ties that existed when they were young are still there, and they'll spring back into place given sufficient love and nurturing."

Reading these paragraphs really breaks my heart. I do not want my children to become "strangers". I also cannot imagine missing out on so much, like watching their faces light up when they figure something out. As for homework, school teachers already have the children for 7 hours each day, why should they have to be burdened with even more school work at home? (I'll answer my own question here.) Because the students CAN'T learn everything in school. There are too many distractions and interruptions, not to mention an often overwhelming feeling of boredom or failure.

We all know there are good teachers and not so good teachers, but the truly GREAT teachers have a way of taking a child's least favorite subject and making it FUN! Yes, it is truly possible! I really wish more teachers would be enthusiastic about what they are teaching. Enthusiasm is catching and almost any subject can be turned into fun and interactive games with some effort. Re-arrange the desks into a circle or a few small squares. Instead of teaching AT children, ENGAGE them in the discussion and INVOLVE them in the educational process. Get out of the chairs and stand in small groups around the room to answer questions. The different ways to make a class more fun are boundless. It just takes enthusiasm and effort.

This pretty much sums up my thoughts on how the school system is not for us and why I've chosen the path I'm on. There is no way that a child can learn better in an environment surrounded by their peers than they can when surrounded in a loving, home environment. Numerous studies (do an online search to find them) have shown that home schooled children not only learn MORE, but they tend to have a love of learning that continues into adulthood. Plus it cannot be denied that the teacher- student ratio of 1:2 is better than any public school in the nation. :o)

Learning to Read and Write

It's truly amazing how quickly children learn. Their brains are like huge sponges, constantly absorbing and they don't turn off just because you aren't trying to teach them something at that moment. They learn constantly by listening and observing the people around them. Our 4yr old occasionally asks us random questions that we as adults never think about. What would you say when asked, "Why are there so many trees?". Of course after you answer that one you know what comes next... "Where did the trees come from?".
I've been helping our son learn to write small words like cat, dog, fish, etc. but in addition to those there's always the words he WANTS to learn how to write. You know, words like Spiderman, Trans Former, and Omnidroid (from the Incredibles movie). Simple words right? LOL It doesn't matter how long the word is, when it's something he's interested in he's determined to learn how to read it and write it. When you think about it, we adults are the same way. Admit it, you know it's true. I love animals and have researched numerous diseases and in-depth subjects way over my head just so I could learn more about the creatures I love so dearly.